by Deepshikha Seymour
We all go through life experiencing things that hurt or even traumatize us. They are like a scar in our memory. The more we revisit it, the more we don’t allow ourselves to heal and the deeper the wound becomes, the greater the scar it’ll leave.
Betrayed in friendship, cheated on in a relationship, backstabbed by the one you trusted most or simply never been understood by one’s family. We all go through something or the other thing like being hurt by someone or hurting someone and most of the times we are unable let these instances go.
These situations become experiences that teach us many things if we allow it. From where I stand, I can see it go two ways:
1) We can both learn from these and choose to be forgiving and be a better person ourselves; acknowledging the fact that no one is perfect, or
2) We hold grudges in our hearts forever and become a bitter person who always throws a pity party for themselves.
You may think forgiving someone who has profoundly hurt you to your core sounds a little too easier said than done. I get it, it’s not easy but harboring un-forgiveness towards people doesn’t harm them in any way. Their lives don’t get affected by your un-forgiveness rather it is you who loses out on an opportunity to move on in a healthier fashion with a newer perspective.
“Unforgiveness is like
someone else to die.”
You must have come across the phrase ‘forgive and forget’. Think about it. When I thought about it, here’s what I found. Forgiveness is important for self healing and you never really forget such instances that have a dramatic shift on your life. Although, you can choose to forget the person who put you through the pain and just be cautions from now on.
There are a bunch of bad guys out there but there are also a bunch a good and genuine people. Don’t let one bad experience tarnish the whole idea of love and friendship and trust. Just be a little careful rather than being a recluse.
Who knows the pain you’ve gone through can help motivate and encourage someone else you cross paths with but you can’t really do that if you don’t learn first.
Forgive them for not taking you seriously, for not appreciating your value, for using you because you were too trusting or simple to fall for their lie. Forgive them ‘cause it is their loss for losing out on someone as amazing as you.
Who would cross oceans and walk through storms for and with them. Forgive them because they don’t deserve to have a home in your beautiful mind. You just keep being the beautiful soul that you are. The right ones will see your beauty. Most of all forgive yourself for trusting them.
Also, forgive yourself if you at any point have hurt someone. You’re not perfect either. Don’t live in regrets. If you can apologize and make things right, do that. We all need closure. Whether they forgive you or not is up to them.
You just go ahead and do what’s right and leave the rest to them. Give yourself the peace of doing the right thing. It doesn’t matter how long ago or how recently it happened. Make the effort to do what you’d want the other person to do for you. Don’t give up on yourself or on the goodness of your heart. Step out and make a difference.
By Deepshikha Seymour